I have to begin by admitting I’m a fan of Chain. Chain is a United States–based pop-cuisine brand born from B.J. Novak’s inventive approach to food, built on the ideas that fast-food can be elevated and that there’s real enjoyment to be found in revisiting childhood favorites in a fresh, playful way. And they truly deliver on that promise. That’s why I was buzzing with excitement to sample the lineup available at their Cheez-It Court appearance at the Westfield Topanga Mall last week.
We touched on this collaboration in a previous post, so I won’t drag you through every minute detail. I’ll simply share my impressions of the three bites Chain has paired with Cheez-It this month. For readers outside the LA area, Chain has announced that they’ll publish the home recipes for these creations at the end of the month. Read on to learn what’s actually worth attempting in your own kitchen!
Cheez-Steak
Pros: This is a hearty cheesesteak experience. It isn’t a pure Cheez-Steak, but we’ll circle back to that distinction. The sliced ribeye carried a robust depth of flavor, the cheese melted beautifully and evenly, and the grilled onions with pickled jalapeños supplied a bright, zesty lift. If I found this in a cheesesteak shop near my place, I’d be perfectly content. Among the three items, this one feels most at home in a food-court setting and often reads as the most reliable option.
Cons: The bread goes a bit dry on this rendition. That would be less of an issue if there were enough “slop” inside to moisten things up, but there wasn’t. Chains asserts Cheez-Its in every component of the dish, yet the effect mostly showed up as a top-bun dusting that didn’t amplify flavor and simply left me with cheesy fingertips. The concept is fun and ambitious, but the execution lands as a bit of a miss in practice.
Crunchy Cheez-Dog
Pros: Chain delivers a Korean corn dog interpretation with real conviction. At the center sits a sizable Wagyu hot dog, exuding juiciness. The crust—panko with Cheez-It crumbs—turns out impeccably crisp, and, perhaps most salon-finished detail of the whole plate, the bed of Cheez-Its beneath was absolutely stellar. Those crackers were extra cheesy and, truth be told, I found myself wanting more of that component alone.
Cons: My recent jaunt to the Minnesota State Fair has left me with opinions about corn dogs and foods on sticks. The sticking issue here is the stick itself. Chain chose a traditional bamboo skewer that could not adequately support the dish’s overall heft, making me worry it might snap as I held it. A sturdier foundation feels essential here.
Speaking of heft, the toppings lean into heaviness—chunky pickles crowd the lower portion, and in a mall setting, they threaten to topple off with the first bite. The weight of the corn dog plus toppings might benefit from a lighter hand in some spots.
Cheez-Y Bun
Pros: If the thought of a Cheez-It cinnamon roll makes you wary, fear not—this is essentially a caramel roll with a cheeky twist. Yes, there’s cheese in the cream-cheese frosting, but that’s precisely what cream cheese is for, right? The most delightful part of the dish is the Cheez-Its crowning the top; surprisingly, you don’t taste them as strongly through the cinnamon and cream-cheese richness. The roll itself ranks among the better cinnamon rolls I’ve sampled, which is saying something for a cinnamon-roll aficionado like me.
Cons: Even though it’s a bona fide cinnamon roll, I wouldn’t mind a touch more whimsy. After all, this is the Cheez-It Court, not a plain bakery. Let’s see a bit more boldness—slip in crackers inside the bun, push the boundaries a bit more. I’d happily dock a spork just for a bolder approach.
Cheez-Y Bun
Pros: If the idea of a Cheez-It cinnamon roll unsettles you, relax. This is essentially a caramel rollick with a playful Crooked Twist. Yes, there’s cheese folded into the cream-cheese frosting, which is exactly what you’d expect from a cream-cheese topping. The star of the show is actually the Cheez-Its perched atop the bun—yet you hardly notice them through all the cinnamon and creamy cheese filling. The roll itself is among the better specimens I’ve had in the cinnamon-roll realm, which carries some weight given my cinnamon-roll obsession.
Cons: It’s undeniably a strong cinnamon roll, but I would have welcomed a touch more edge and whimsy. After all, this is the Cheez-It Court, so let’s push the envelope a bit more. Cracker inclusions inside the bun would be wild. Go all out. I’d happily deduct a spork for a safer, more conservative approach.
